i don’t get it…

Why would you do this to me you made it seem as if you were one of the good ones the one that wouldn’t take a girl for granted.

I thought you cared for me the way i cared for you. Obviously i was wrong because your off with her while I’m here crying for you. 
I always told myself if anyone ever treated me the way you  did I would leave and move on with my life but it’s easier said than done I guess.  

My perception of relationships are, You care for that person unconditionally even if they make you angry even if they rage at you for no reason at all or for a stupid reason… You stay because you know you care. You treat that person with respect. You help  them if their having troubles.. You be there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on when they need a helping hand. AND YOUR ALWAYS HONEST WITH THEM.

I thought you were that guy but you turned out not to be him. You always said that you’d fight for us and that you’d care for me always…  actions speak louder than words. 

You Lied to me , you cheated on me… After i gave you my everything and I mean everything I did that because i thought you cared the way i did for you.. You used me. Made me think that you were always going to be there. What’s so special about her?  she lets  everything with a penis and a pulse in her pants. 

Is that what you like??? 

When all my friends said that I could do better and that i deserve better i stayed  because i knew/thought you were better and I wanted you to prove you were better than that. You proved them right and me wrong. 

Usually i never blog or write anything on my tumblr but because it’s 11:11:11 today which makes today special i thought I thought I’d write about what’s on my mind….

I think this year has probably been one of the hardest. So many changes and friends and lives have changed NOT just for me but the people around me to. 

This year is nearly over 2 more months.. WOW when I think about it. It feels like i celebrated my birthday just a  month ago but that was so many months ago :o 

Everything this year has changed I have changed i think for the good but sometimes i feel like ive changed in a bad way. Most of my friends have changed most  of them we don’t even talk now there’s hiis and byes but never ’ hey! how are you?’ and thinking back to how tight we really were is sad. Ive met alot of new people but non fill the gaps of those ive lost to call a friend… someone i can talk to about anything.. someone that i know will always have my back. I guess when your growing up ALOT of people around you are going to change you learn as you grow older that it’s apart of life and you have to deal with these things.. what doesn’t break you make you stronger right? 
 Even though it does hurt you have to MOVE ON AND THINK POSITIVE !
That’s one of the things i have learnt this year and that is to always think on the positive side of things and that has always been hard for me to do because i always tend to look at the negative i still do that but i guess that’s my way of protecting myself i try not to think of the good to much because im afraid that i’ll  jinx it but  thinking about the bad actually is jinxing it…  So i try and try everyday to look at the positives in my life because last year this time i always thought negatively towards myself. So i personally think im changing for the better. Thinking Positive towards everything can actually make your life better and your problems that you go through wont seem so bad anymore. 

I have a friend her life has turned upside down there are so many things she is not able to do anymore because of what has happened to her yet she looks at the positive and knows she can always turn to God i think her relationship with God has gone even stronger cause of what has happened to her.. I look up to her for being a strong person and always keeping her head held high :)

So many more changes and more to come but Im happy with the people i have in this moment and this time with me their the best people im not close with all of them but they have made my year amazing and have helped me stay positive :)